Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter and so on

OK so there has been a lot of drama and bull shit going on here. I can't go into details, but the cops were called and someone was taken away and is in the hospital.

Now I'm being asked if i want to go on a day trip to NY. I feel GUILTY about this person being taken away and having to stay in hospital for a while, even though it is the best possible thing for this person. But when they call, and cry on the phone, well, the guilt comes in full force. I'm already depressed and i don't feel like i deserve to go on a day trip, or any kind of trip while i know they are over there, suffering.

I know i was suffering while that person was here. I know that everyone around us was suffering while they were here. but i still feel like crap because they are gone. i feel like it's my fault.

am i to blame for this person having to be gone? no i know I'm not. but it still hurts