soooooo yesterday, after getting back from the hospital, (i still have my friend's car since she can't drive, she lets me keep it until thursday usually, so she can go to work on friday), we drove to pick up Jorge from work. I got this cool piece of cheap ass wood from the home depot he works at, and put it ontop of two of those plastic 3 drawer storage thingies to make a craft desk!! i'm so pleased with how it turned out. anyways, afterwards, it was still raining and we were going to take Ellie to the park or museum. Jorge was tired and hungry, so we went and got stuff to make sandwiches and sat under a sheltered picnic area to eat. Ellie was crying about wanting to go to play, so we walked over and she played for probably about 2 hours. :-) I had fun too!! I played on the swings for a while, felt like i was flying, lol. (they should have swings in front of the ocean so that you can really feeling like you are flying! how fun would that be?????) and i even got onto this little apparatus thingie that spun around and around. of course Drea spun that thing with me on it for ever and I was dizzy like crazy... but how fun!!! :D :D :D after playing in the park, we went to a beautiful garden area. it was very hilly and we walked for probably about 1/2 hour. we get home probably about 7 or so, and I told the kids on the drive back, if they wanted to, they could go out dancing or whatever... they were excited about it and agreed that they would want to go. they ended up going but there was drama in between the time that i said they could go and the time they actually left. as soon as I sat down, i felt my body start to crash. i don't know another word to use. but it's that feeling you get when you just can't do anything more. and the pain starts to settle in your bones. the walking and playing and drama and sitting in chairs all day at the hospital, took it's toll and i started feeling it ALL, all at once. I layed in bed after organizing my craft table, put on my headphones and started hearing crying. Ellie had woken up and her bedroom door was closed so I couldn't hear her and she couldn't see any light and she couldn't leave her room to come find me since I couldn't hear her. :( I ran over and held her while she literally sobbed :( :( :( After a few minutes, I got a fresh bottle for her and we walked into my room. she didn't want to go back to sleep in her bed because Drea wasn't there. she climbed into my bed and closed her eyes. after a few minutes, i put on my cpap and the wind hit her in the face. she opened her eyes and giggled and i shushed her and said "night night". she rolled over and placed a foot on my leg and her arm on my belly. such a sweet and tender moment! :D When Drea got back home, I heard the door open and I said Ellie? she said something I didn't understand, but I knew it was her, so I fell back to sleep. Drea woke me with wild eyes and said, Where's Ellie? i looked on my bed and didn't find her on the bed, she had rolled off the bed and was laying on the floor curled up in her blanket with her mickey mouse. i didn't know why drea was so freaked out, until she said, she had searched for Ellie everywhere and couldn't find. her.
I forgot to say that on Thursday, I started feeling really really bad. I got short of breath and dizzy after yawning. scared the crap out of me. and then in the afternoon, i went to get lunch and after just a few steps, i got very short of breath. i kept going because I don't stop when I get short of breath, I'll stop when I get palpitations, but not just SOB. but when I finally got back to my waiting friend in the hospital, I was so ill, I couldn't do anything. I sat and ate and felt a tiny bit better. I started getting tingling on my hands and feet and then even on my face. and under the tingling, there was this horrible pain. like the one i'm feeling right now because my arms are up while i type. I called my doc and left a voice mail. they called me back later in the evening and said the doc would get back in touch with me. it was strange because the bag that I held the food in, i couldn't open my fingers all the way. i asked my friend to help push them open and she said she felt stiffness in the joints. I did end up feeling better, not completely, but like 80%, and was able to drive us home.
all of this is to say that when I woke up this morning, i was in so much pain! and exhaustion! I just woke up from probably a 3 hour nap or so and I can still go back to sleep! i'm going to... my stomach is all upset and i feel like i'm going to hurl, but it's all something I can't post onto my FB wall since i don't want mom to get worried. :(
after I'm done with this, i'm going to put on my headphones, turn on netflix on my laptop and watch some grey's anatomy. :-)
|Jorge, Drea and Ellie|