I cannot tell a lie

But we do, don't we? Lie regularly that is. If someone asks me how I'm doing, first thing out of my mouth, regardless if it's true or not, is "I'm fine thanks!". but if people knew how I was feeling, I'm sure they would never ask. Who wants to be bombarded with all the crap I go through on a daily basis. People with Chronic Illness, unless a cure is found, will always and forever be sick. Yes, of course, we all have good days and bad days.

For me, I know I'm doing better if the good days outnumber the bad. But lately, I've been having a rough time.
A dear friend asked me recently how I was doing, I asked her if she really wanted to know, or was she just being polite. I could tell she was just doing the same small talk we all do from time to time, but I just wanted to know if people really care about how I'm doing. so I've started to ask.

It's a lot to take on, listening to all this. and people don't know what to say when you're done, usually it's "Oh I'm sorry you are going through that". for me, i always shrug my shoulders like it's no big deal and say "heck! I've been sick for nearly 18 years!"

Well, I was diagnosed nearly 18 years ago, but have been having symptoms of Pulmonary Hypertension at least 2 years prior, right after I gave birth. But I'm wondering lately if I wasn't sick while I was pregnant. It's so very dangerous being pregnant with Pulmonary Hypertension. the pregnancy always takes up so much energy and already puts a strain on the heart with a healthy person. I person with chronic illness such as PH, it could be very harmful to both baby and momma.

Anyways, back to telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. These days, I don't see how that's possible. I have been trying all my adulthood to tell the truth, but things have to be said to protect others, or to not hurt them emotionally. Now that my family is grown, I'm being asked to lie for them. I don't like this at all, not one bit, and I've told people this. But if it gets them out of harm's way, of course I will.

So to tell the truth or to not tell the truth. honestly in my opinion, you should strive to be honest in every way, but to spare someone from any kind of suffering, I'd probably sugar coat it. Question now I guess is, how do you know when you're being lied to?