Sunday, January 13, 2013
I think I'm realizing why I've gotten so depressed these past few weeks... My youngest daughter Luzy's birthday is coming up next month. February 14th. I've been going to all the regular websites trying to find something for her that shows her 1. how much I love her 2. that I realize that she no longer is a baby :( she's turning 17 this year 3. How much I appreciate her. Thing is, I don't know my daughter anymore.
What does she like? What does she do? how does she spend her time? What music does she enjoy listening to? Luzy hasn't lived with me since '08. Before the divorce, she moved out, for supposed to have been, just a few days, to "visit" her grandmother. Didn't turn out that way. She has been there ever since. Not a single person asked me how I felt about it. I never got the chance to fight for her. After the divorce, I moved away - across the country to Maryland. Since then, I've only been allowed to call her on the weekends because my phone calls apparently have upset her so much she can't study. I only see her twice a year, IF i can afford it.
So, now my beautiful young daughter is a young lady and I have no idea who she is, and honestly, it just breaks my heart.
I haven't seen her since last summer, for two weeks. Most Christmases, she comes out for a week... One year, she was only here for 4 days. But I try to make the most of her visits. It's just so hard. I miss her so much!!!