Thursday, December 16, 2010


The year 2010 was a good year all in all, for me. I had my ups and downs and so did my family. But we came out of 2010 I believe stronger and closer together and mother and daughters. as sisters, I don't think so, unfortunately, since they all live in three different states.

In 2010 I was able to see my depression almost completely go away, Thanks be to God! It took many years and many different medications, but I'm here,  mostly happy, mostly enjoying my life. I don't want to say completely because that would not be true. I do think that emotionally speaking, I'm the best I'm ever going to be. Once I get closer to God, who knows... the depression, sadness, may be completely lifted, that's up to God's will. not my own. I'd love to be depression free. who knows. it may happen one day, or maybe when I'm singing with the choirs of angels. who knows!

I started the year off on the east coast, enjoying snowmageddon. the brisk and cleanness of it all was so beautiful! until the cars came and dirtied it all up. but still it was beautiful while it lasted. The kids were all together in the beginning of the year, playing in the snow. actually having fun together! That was, for me, the most beautiful part of 2010! Seeing my kids playing and laughing was awesome!

I ended up my time on the east coast in a homeless shelter, which taught me so very very much! I no longer pass a homeless person without a smile or a thought. I no longer take for granted all the things I have been blessed with, a home, a car, food. True the home and car aren't mine. I don't feel like this is my home, of course it's not. it's my mom's. She tells me all the time this is my home and I need to think of it as if it is. I think that will come with time.
There is so much to be thankful for! The heater and the air conditioner, electricity and gas stoves. In the shelter, the temp that it was outside was the temp that it was inside. You always knew how to dress. And you could never cook for yourself. Churches, God bless them, would bring us food, breakfast lunch and dinner. And it was really good food. If I ever get the chance, I'm going to take food to a homeless shelter and feed them like I was fed too. It wasn't just churches that would bring food in, it was also individuals who had come with their churches before, and just wanted to help, communities would also volunteer. Once an entire block of women with their kids, cooked for us.

I was only there for 3 weeks, but I learned so much from the women that were there. One lady would tell me how nice I was, and I would say, I try. She said something that stuck with me.
She said, "We are not human trying, we are human beings. so stop trying and be." I just loved that!!!

In June, I traveled to California for the Pulmonary Hypertension Association's 9th International Conference in Garden Grove. I so enjoyed it and didn't want it to end! They only last a few days, less than a week, but they are so jam packed with information, fellowship, and love, that I felt I would burst with it all!

In October I moved to California. my daughter was already living with my mom, I had her stay here after conference so that she could begin the school year here instead of having to transfer during the school year.
My time in Cali hasn't been very good, I haven't made my time in Cali very pleasant. I've been lazy, I've been sad, well, read the last post where I talked about that. I'm hoping to make 2011 a better year here, hopefully I can find a job now that the recession is "Over". yea right.

there's more to say, but I'm going to end this here and right more later.


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